A Mass Exodus Of Mormons Coming To A Town Near You

Earlier this month the Church of Latter Day Saints wanted to let everyone know just how they felt about “the homosexuals”. See, there may have been some confusion on the matter. Even though Mormons renounce homosexuality officially within their church, even though excommunication is a likely reality if you’re a part of the Mormon faith and don’t want to attend a conversion camp, and even though they have funded anti-LGBT legislation like Prop 8 (which we owe them thanks for, since that got the whole Supreme Court thing rolling) that just might not be enough.

They wanted to be sure, because the in the last year their stance may have appeared (to some) to be wavering. I mean earlier this year they helped pass a Utah state law banning discrimination against LGBT people. Yes, true Christians, religious people and overall halfway decent human beings agree that discrimination is wrong, and should not be tolerated. But for them to associate themselves with such ideas… appalling! And yes, the legislation they passed had clear religious exemptions so any discrimination that could be chalked up to religious liberty – well that’s okay. Which also means the Church of Latter Day Saints is free to continue discriminating against LGBT people. I mean, do you really think they would champion legislation that would have it any other way?

And then there was the whole Kim Davis mess. I don’t want to bring her up because my God have people already paid her way too much attention, but I have to because it has to do with the other slip that landed the church on such shaky ground. A member of the second highest governing body within the church went on record, criticizing Davis. He said that public officials “are not free to apply personal convictions — religious or other — in place of the defined responsibilities of their public offices.”

Wait, wait, wait – hold up! Was this person within the Church’s government, saying that public and political officials of this country, must follow the country’s laws and not their own personal agendas, whether they scream, “RELIGIOUS FREEDOM!” or not? That’s just crazy talk. I mean yes, our country was supposedly founded on the exact same thing, but what a dangerous place our country would be if we followed our own laws and obeyed the law of the land (you know, the Constitution). I mean, it’s so old – the writers couldn’t have foretold everything that would come up now – like same-sex marriage. And yeah, the Bible may be older, but that’s different…

The Bible

Obviously, these two acts within a year’s time threatened the entire church as an institution. So they decided to take action and clear the air about how they felt. See there is now a new policy within the church. One that states that members in same-sex relationships are apostates (and it makes it sound like in this case, excommunication is in their near future – not that that’s new or anything) and children of LGBT parents are just as vile and cannot participate within the church. So no baptisms, naming ceremonies and many other things for these kids. They can choose to join the church once they turn eighteen so long as they:

  1. Move out of their parents’ house. You can’t live with “a gay” and be recognized apparently.
  2. Renounce their parents. Because they’re not the people that raised them, when the church turned their backs to the child, they’re just a bunch of sissy sinners. To hell with them!

Now, I know this might come as a shock, but a lot of people are upset about this new policy. In fact that may be putting it lightly…

Chaos has ensued within the church and now there are calls (and follow through, they have actually taken place) for mass resignations. Some people are upset because of how it denounces homosexuality. Not that it does, I mean no one ever expected them to be pro same-sex marriage, but how they’ve done it now essentially equates LGBT people to murderers. I mean, I guess they’re kind of the same thing.

Still others are upset, not because of the “Down with the Gays – Excommunicate the Apostates!” thing, but because the church is essentially punishing innocent children for “the actions of their parents” and turning them away from the church. Yeah, I have to say, I think this is going to affect recruitment, just a little bit.

Just how bad has it affected membership after less than two weeks? 1,500 people have already handed in their letters of resignation. While there are an additional 2,000 requests in process with various attorneys (as in already filed, folks) to resign from the church. Now I don’t pretend to know just how many Mormons are in this country, but 3,500 members resigning in a matter of days with more and more joining these numbers – I can’t think it’s a good thing for their church. I guess the big guys got a little too high and mighty for all of the lowly members of their faith. Wow…

In all fairness, the church did try to clarify some things. For children of same-sex parents who have already been baptized and/or welcomed into the church – they are OK. It’s all of the kids from the time the policy came out that are doomed. Also, it only affects children whose primary residence is with their same-sex parents. But they can be sent to live with an aunt or uncle or something and then they’re good again. They just can’t live with any gays. They might catch it!

I know it’s surprising that this clarification, really didn’t help, but at least they tried?

The president of the church pleaded with people on Twitter, kindly reminding them of what awaited if they left the church. Yeah, when threatening eternal damnation no longer works, you know you’re kind of screwed.

Oh well, it was nice while it lasted. (Can you hear my sarcasm?)

Dear Church Of Latter Day Saints:

Hi, we don’t know each other very well, and to be honest that’s how I like it. But recently I have noticed that despite recent progressive and human assertions you wanted to go back to the Stone Age – you know where you stoned people that you did not agree with. It looks like you’ve bit off a bit more than you can chew. How that’s those mass resignations tasting?

-DMW

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This entry was posted in Christianity, God, humor, LGBT, Love, Religion and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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