I am all about family traditions, even though right now this family consists of only two people: me and my husband, Roy. I have done Easter egg hunts and hidden baskets, I have left stuffed animals for my husband on Christmas morning, and I leave May Day baskets for neighbors and friends. Maybe it seems corny or sentimental or childish, but something about doing these things now, before we have kids, helps keep the hope alive that one day we actually will have kids.
Since I’m not a mother, I haven’t ever had a Mother’s Day. I mean why would I? And since my own birth mother is criminally insane, I don’t really celebrate Mother’s Day. It used to be a hard day for me to get through, knowing I would never have a mother, and now it’s just a day, like any other. So it was a big surprise when my husband told me to go sit down and close my eyes, on Sunday morning. I figured Roy got candy or some other sweet treat at the store the previous night. It’s always a nice surprise, but I wasn’t expecting anything more than that. And certainly not what I actually got.
Roy presented me with a card. And not just any card, but with a Mother’s Day card. He wrote a message inside, which said, “This is a practice card for when you become a true mother to our kids.” He also told me I was the best mom to our dog (Angel) and our cat (Moxy) though I told him I was sure the cat would disagree. And he even wrote a cute message “from Angel” thanking me for rescuing her and assuring me that even though we look different, I’m still her mom.
The card referenced a gift, but it didn’t dawn on me that there was more. I thought the card was the gift. But then Roy told me to follow him and he showed me a package in his hand. He got me a Fitbit –one that measures almost everything (not the heartbeat one, but the one right below that, that still measures sleep and all the other stuff). The card said it was “to make sure you’ll be around for a long time.”
Last week, Roy told me to close my eyes and I could feel him measuring my wrist, which I thought was odd because while I love jewelry, I don’t like bracelets or anything on my wrists. And I loathe watches. I thought maybe he was getting me a charm for our anniversary next month or a watch as a gag because we’re both always on each other about being late (him way more than me, everyone refers to it as “*Smith time” because it’s infamous and apparently affects each and every family member 😛 ) but I didn’t give it much thought at the time. Now I know he was just confirming that my wrists are tiny so he knew what size Fitbit to get.
The rest of the day was nice and easy. Angel played with her buddies (we were watching our friends’ dogs this weekend over at our house) and Moxy just glared at them and kept her distance. She really doesn’t like them, which I don’t understand because these are dogs that leave her alone. Like even if she were to walk by they wouldn’t even glance at her, and if she wants to sit somewhere they typically just find another place because she’s all hissy. So why does she act terrified – like they’re invaders who have come to make off with her kibble – I don’t get it, but I digress… Roy and I caught up on some shows we didn’t get around to watching that week, while playing with and setting up the Fitbit, and then decided to go to Five Guys for dinner because neither of us felt like making anything, and it’s been months (like seven or eight months) since we’ve ate there. And maybe it’s lame, but that was the first restaurant Roy introduced me to – I had never even heard of them before. It was our seventh date.
So anyway, it was just a very nice day. Relaxing, easy – you know the kind of Mother’s Day that every real mother wants, and one that will be impossible to have once we actually have kids. But that’s okay. I’ll just have my relaxing Mother’s Days while we’re still childless and when it finally happens, I’ll be more than happy to trade them in for the crazy, I-can’t-think-straight, there-is-no-time, am-I-failing-as-a-parent Mother’s Days that will follow. I hope to have them in the next few years. I want a BIG family. I’m Irish so five kids is considered a small family. If we had unlimited money and resources I’d like a soccer team, but after our first kids, I know that number will go down, so I’m thinking/hoping like six to eight. But don’t worry, I’m a writer – so I feel at home in chaos! 😉
A happy belated Mother’s Day to all of the mothers out there – new mothers, expectant mothers and veteran mothers – grandmothers, godmothers, favorite aunts and the mothers-at-heart who want kids more than anything, but it just hasn’t happened yet. And any mothers who have lost a child, and anyone who is without a mother, either by choice, circumstances or death – I hope this Mother’s Day was a peaceful one.