Three Years… Really?

Today is our third wedding anniversary. How crazy is that? In some ways it feels like much longer – all right in ALL the ways it feels much longer. But I don’t mean that in a bad way, with a sidelong glance at my partner as we think about how rough it’s been… I mean it in the way that even before we were married, we felt married. The wedding was just a big (and expensive!) party with our loved ones to celebrate a commitment we had already made to one another. It was a big deal (I mean I know few brides who just don’t care about their weddings or don’t put their “everything” into it) but in some ways it had nothing to do with our marriage.

The last three years have been full of ups and downs for each of us, and 2014 really kicked our asses – I had a major medical blow and some other stuff, and Roy (my husband) was in the midst of an unexpected career change. Still, all of the problems that have come at us – it’s like us against the world. We don’t turn on each other, we don’t falter and we are able to be in tune with each other – mentally and emotionally. And it’s kind of funny seeing how we are total opposites in every sense of the word. Roy’s favorite foods I hate and vice versa. We like different kinds of movies, books, interests, stores, how we see the world, activities, political parties and even how we process things. We are as different as two people can be. I’m a planner, and he hates planning. I’m Type-Triple A and he’s Type-Triple B. I could go on and one, but really I’ve already blogged about just how different we are and how we make it work for us – just take a look.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blind. Being so different means a little more work on our part. We’re constantly meeting in the middle and sometimes that means taking turns meeting a little closer to the other on certain things. But we both view our differences as a positive rather than as an obstacle or setback. I am good at many things. Roy is good at many things. We are not good at any of the same things (strike that – we both can cook 😛 ), which means that together we are good at twice as many things. I know my limitations and I am not afraid to ask Roy for help when something is just not my area. Roy is the same.

I’m the planner who dreams – Roy is the dreamer who thinks. Roy is a master at subtlety where I am as subtle as a sledgehammer. But I wouldn’t want Roy to change who he is, and I think he feels the same way most of the time. 😛 (Hey, sledgehammers can be kind of scary.)

I think about the last three years and smile, even when I get to the not-so-great or downright crappy times. We’ve done a lot of traveling, we both have done a lot of growing, we’ve each had to be the other’s rock, through major surgeries, deaths of loved ones, and financial insanity. And we always come out stronger, not just individually, but our relationship. Even after the wear-and-tear it’s still like-new in the sense of how we feel. Neither of us has ever questioned if we would make it. I’m not used to being so sure about something or someone, when life has always been about not being sure, and I have to say it’s really quite nice.

I think about the last three years and smile. I can’t wait to see what this year brings, and the next and the one after that. I hope we get to the point to really start working towards having a family (it only costs a mortgage – no seriously, we can’t have children without someone else’s eggs, and a surrogate – I am genetically undesirable – and yes a single kid is about 180K, twins around 260K) and maybe have some more getaways. By far the best times we’ve had is when we’ve just checked out for a few days. Once Roy took me to Evergreen, Colorado and we had a magical week in our own little world. I kidnapped him for five days and took him to Estes Park, and God I wish we could do that again. And then there was our mini-moon. We couldn’t afford a real honeymoon so we went to the Bahamas for a few days right after our wedding, which was in Florida. And again – it was the most wonderful experience. No phones or internet or schedules or worries or real world stuff. Just my husband and me together – the world is ours.

Happy Anniversary, Roy! Here is to the next year – let’s make it a great one! 😍

-DMW

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